On occasion, we all have to do maintenance. Whether it’s a broken washing machine, a kitchen needing some paint love, an ever-growing blog, or a soul.
At the moment, it’s the soul. My soul – and body – have been in maintenance mode for some time behind the scenes, but the internet isn’t the place to disclose everything. For a lot of things, yes, for everything, no.
The writer of Ecclesiastes says, “There is a time for everything.”
There’s also a place for it.
Unfortunately, that’s just the way life goes.
Circumstances Beyond My Control
Due to circumstances beyond my control, cyber life can at best present only one to a few sides of a many-sided die. Or pair of dice. Or the whole board game of life.
But like a mom with the flu who still cares for her baby in the crib, a blogger still blogs even while allegorically upchucking behind the scenes.
Yes, the dichotomy of blogging threatens the soul when one blogs for a living.
Blogging Is My Living
Not that I make enough from the blog to pay to keep the blog running – no less make a financial living – blogging is my living.
It’s what I do with many of my living hours. It’s my living.
In general terms, I’m limited. And I need something to keep my mind off the limitations and on what I can do. To be honest, I need something to take my mind off the pain.
You know that mom with the flu I mentioned?
Sometimes, she’s crying while changing diapers, slowly sipping Gatorade while nursing, limping in exhaustion to the bathroom carrying babe in arm, setting him on the floor while she makes a deposit from one end or the other.
I know, that’s graphic. But that’s life with a baby.
I don’t have the flu, and I don’t have a baby-baby. But I do have some challenges that, if I let them, would take me right off the cyber page and keep me under the covers.
A Broken Image
But I don’t want to do that. I want to live. And I will live. Even if that means I have to …
means I have to …
means I have to …
means I have to …
That’s not a broken record, it’s a broken image.
I keep thinking I should say:
“… means I have to wear a mask.”
But masks denote hiding. And I don’t want to hide.
But I do need to shield myself yet for a time. Yes, that’s it. Not a mask. A veil.
Not a Mask, A Veil
I will live even if that means I have to wear a veil.
In this age of testing the waters of transparency online, I don’t want to hide from you. Which is why I’m revealing my veil.
Consider it part of my manufacturer’s soul maintenance plan.
A veil, a covering says there is a person behind the thin fabric, who is going through more than you can see. More than she can tell. More than she can share.
A person who is struggling with limits and finding what she can still do.
If they take that away too, she fears perishing.
But she will not perish, she will keep finding ways to live, even if the lace veil becomes a woolen one. But she scratches from wool. She doesn’t want to scratch, she wants to live.
I went all third person there, didn’t I? I suppose that’s another sort of soul veil. An I-don’t-want-to-get-that-vulnerable-but-I-have-a-thought-to-convey veil.
I imagine we all have cyber soul veils. It’s the nature of the beast.
The nature of the kosmos, of the world’s system.
The Eternal Veil Has Been Lifted
Christ removed the veil that I might see. Christ died that I might live.
And see I strive to. And live I will.
As best I can, within the limits I have, I will live letting Him “lift away the missing from the system.”*
Even if that means the missing view from behind the veil.
It’s Your Turn
- Do you feel like you wear a mask? or live behind a veil?
- Do you have limits that make you feel like giving up? giving in?
- Do you speak up when you can and remain silent when you must?
- *Greek Lexicon translation of a bit of John 1:29